STOP THE PRESS! (Unless you’re The News of the World, in which case it’s a bit late to be shouting that.)

A vision of BEAUTY: I could have posted a photo of a double-yoke egg but I didn’t want to be accused of blowing anyone’s mind

You can buy a single egg with not one but two yokes inside! This isn’t some warped optimistic vision created by a late-night cheese-eating expedition, oh no: this is plain and simple scientific fact. You see dear reader, according to my dear mother, who is an expert on such things, you can walk into “any good supermarket” and source these wondrous evolutionary creations entirely at your leisure (or “leesh-yur”, if you’re American). Buy a dozen, go on! Or even buy two-dozen! (But no more than that, please. Spare a thought for other double-yoke-lovers, you cruel-cruel person you.) I dare say you can even demand someone bring you some of these beauties and it won’t be met with too much hostility. After all, if a paying customer should be allowed to demand anything it is a single chicken’s egg with two yokes!

But wait…it’s not all fun and games. Because after some quick research — very quick and highly inconclusive, that is — I have discovered that some degree of manipulation must be at work here. Either countless innocent chickens are being poked with electric cattle-prods or shouted at — how loud would you have to shout at a chicken (or a gang of chickens) to make it lay a double-yoke egg? — or somewhere along the line human intervention is doing its devious work, again.

And the question then is this: where do you draw the line? Three yoke eggs? Five yoke eggs? Or might a day come when egg-whites become endangered and legions of egg-white-loving chefs decide to rise up against the masses and go on strike, making countless dishes of food extinct overnight?

Personally I’m not too bothered about egg-whites disappearing. I’ve always liked the yokes the best.