Susanna’s OK, but what about Susie Fowler-Watt?

Unmistakeably SF-W

Unmistakably SF-W

It’s a good job I’m not the sort of demented determined person who’s good at organising protests, who paints signs and who will think absolutely nothing of dropping everything and marching through the streets and using those same signs to show the world who my favourite flipping newsreader is. That’s right: it’s East Anglia’s favourite presenting superstar, Susie Fowler-Watt. Owner of the finest, silky, multi-coloured satin shirts that the flattest part of our country has ever seen.

And today wasn’t good. Today, all us SF-W lovers suffered what can only be described as a crippling direct hit to everything we hold dear about newsreading. Why? Well, those of you who have been paying any attention to the news in any way whatsoever will have noticed that Susanna Reid has just been named newsreader of the year at the TV and Radio Industries Club awards. Newsreader of the year! Disgusting indeed. Especially when you consider the dynamite duo that is SF-W and SW (also known as Susie Fowler-Watt and much-loved anchorman, the one and only Stewart White).

If awards could be given for defectors, then, no doubt, Susanna Reid would be right up there with the best of them. But when it comes to quality newsreading, anyone who has witnessed Susie Fowler-Watt’s natural smiley banter with Stewart White over the years will surely agree that today’s latest shun to East Anglia is completely unacceptable. Just because our county is flat doesn’t mean that our newsreaders deserve to be more or less constantly walked all over. In this case trampled. Even if they do have haircuts that hark back to the 1980s (something that SF-W pulls off in a way which seems nothing less than impossible, I should add).

The worst part about it, for me, is that I bet Fowler-Watt, with her wonderful supercar like nickname SF-W, took it gracefully and didn’t complain once. I bet she never once looked in the mirror and said “you know what Susanna, I’ll take your bloody head off if you smile like that again!” While Susie’s grace under such pressure is of course noteworthy, it’d be wonderful to see the ever enchanting SF-W lose it just once for a short time (preferably with Stewart by her side, holding her back so as to prevent any GBH which might not be conducive to future newsreading). And why not, when you’re 50% of the greatest newsreading duo that the East Anglian counties has likely ever seen? Surely if anyone has the right, SF-W does?

Then again, it wasn’t just SF-W who painfully lost out in 2014. According to the BBC story which spawned my intense Eastern counties anger, both Lorraine Kelly (Lorraine for goodness sake!) and Fiona Bruce also missed any kind of acknowledgment. Bewildering is the only word.

Susanna may seemingly have hit the jackpot with her move to front ITVs new Daybreak replacement Good Morning Britain, but don’t count SF-W out just yet. I know some people, and they’re damn good at organising protests…they also adore the genre of East Anglian newsreading.

New short story up now

UPDATE: sorry people, the link was wrong but it works fine now I think.

Actually that’s a bit of a lie…it’s not actually new, it’s 5 or 6 years old. But still, it’s new to you, so what do you care?

So, I thought, I know what I’ll do…with just 3 weeks to go until my very first novel goes out into the world, I’ll do a really clever thing and put out an old short story which demonstrates perfectly how to make loads of mistakes!

Or maybe I’m wrong…maybe it’s not a total waste of kilobites or whatever they’re called. We’ll see.

It’s called Pet Ode and you can’t READ IT HERE…


please help this hound

I’m having one of those days where lots of little things make the bigger things difficult to do. Fortunately I came across this photo of some “art” I did a couple of years ago, and was reminded to post about the new page I put up the other day entitled Gallery of lost.

Over at that page you’ll find a load of similar posters (some “designed” by my good friend Ed Docherty, the legendary BMX photographer) which might amuse you. And yes, all of them are either dodgy, miss-spelt, or just plain badly designed / awful on the eyes. If you’ve  ever seen a lost animal poster then you’ll know that this gallery is as desperate and authentic as it gets!

And thanks to all my new readers by the way, nice of you to drop by.