What we can ALL learn from Rambo

Don’t push me!

1) You don’t always need a thousand words to make your point. Three will do: ā€œdon’t push me!ā€ Having lethal SAS skills also doesn’t hurt (you), but it’s not mandatory, don’t worry.

2) Violence solves everything. Anyone who says otherwise has clearly not seen the latest Rambo film, where the man himself single-handedly machine-guns several hundred evil enemies to pieces in a matter of literally seconds. Could the same have been achieved with mass conversation? Unlikely; you’d have to be pretty vengeful, and I’ve only ever met one person who came close (my maths teacher at primary school. When I was 8 she was seriously about 9 feet tall and the most bitter person you could ever not hope to meet).

3) The mean look is always in.

4) Never go anywhere without your hand-crafted machete. Not even the bathroom. ESPECIALLY the bathroom.

5) You can have a nick-name that sounds a lot like a nick-name for a dog and pull it off. But you have to be pretty ripped (see photo), or otherwise people are going to take the piss, and can you blame them?

6) Long words and intellect are all very well, but are they any good for running around in the woods and being harder than anyone else on earth? No. Rambo proves that there’s a career for everyone, even those who possess a killing instinct and don’t like working inside.