Two days ago, my uncle passed away — natural causes: his time had come, and I believe he was at peace when the moment came, as it had to, as he had anticipated, as was inevitable. I could say how much I miss him now he has gone; how his passing has affected me. The truth is a tangle of contradictions, though, and much less simple to interpret, let alone explain. I hadn’t seen him in 6, maybe 7 years. If time was the only measure of emotion then you might think that I am so far removed from those last memories now so as not to feel a single thing. But that isn’t true — far from it. When I start thinking about my uncle and standing in his kitchen as a 10 year old — being the same height as him briefly, before passing him in the time it took to visit once more — I miss him tremendously. I want all that time back and for things to stay that way forever. What was dull and far away suddenly seems so close I can touch it. It reminds me that every moment lived today was unique. A mundane day spent at work, but a special combination of tiny events all the same, played out in a way that is now lost forever: un-retrievable. Don’t ever think that every day is the same, because they can’t be, can they? At the risk of talking down to you, the reader, treasure the mistakes and embrace the moments when you feel so free and easy — or so bored, so totally without purpose or reason or desire — that you need something right now to fix it all; something better that somebody else has. One day there will be less time, less possibilities, less desire to experience new things; too much history behind you and not enough new things ahead of you. It’s your time, isn’t it? Smile, make things happen.
Just don’t throw it all away.
Here’s another post which is similar, this time from signedviolet. Check it out, it’s a good and poignant read. Thanks for sharing my post on your blog, SV.