2 things to do if you feel like…

This terrible/hastily-drawn sketch of Zoolander says “you’re so good looking,you should do this professionally!”

1) Take a chocolate bar to bed with you — and you can wipe that smug smile off your face, you: by that I definitely do not mean in the seedy way (is there a seedy way?! I don’t know…), I just mean carry it with you up the stairs, or to the back of your bungalow, and into your room with you to enjoy. By eating, of course.

When in bed, just before sleeps, eat just half the bar (or less if it’s a massive one, you greedy pig you!). I know this goes against everything your parents and the world ever told you about how to treat your teeth, but don’t worry. It’s not going to do too much damage, providing you don’t make a habit of it. Use your own discretion.

Now HERE’S the best bit: before bed, put the chocolate bar on the bed-side table. Or on the floor. Anywhere but the pillow or the bed. That would be a mistake. Then, upon awakening, you will be greeted by one of your most favourite things, and for a second or two it’ll fill you with warmth and be an amazing new surprise. Already your day is off to a brilliant start!

2) Watch comedy classic Zoolander. For some reason, I’ve heard a few people call Zoolander childish and rubbish, when, in fact, it is a magnificent piece of work (as a friend recently reminded me. Thank you friend). Well, what can you do? You can’t please everyone all the time, even with genius. But trust me, if you haven’t seen it, do. It’s something your sense of humour can’t afford to miss.

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