The Number 3 Mystery Book — buy your paperback now

Black and white ex-racing greyhound Jojo loves The Number 3 Mystery Book so much, she'll frequently spend hours in her doggy-den, mulling over the captivating storyline. In this photo, her morose expression conveys her sheer inability to fathom why anyone else wouldn't want to read it too. (In their doggy-den or otherwise.)

Last week, finally, it happened: a very disgruntled post-man — complete with small red van, like the demonic real-life becoming of postman Pat — turned up at the door holding a massive box; the kind of box which surely must be urban legend in the post-office, and which post-men and women alike no doubt spend their whole lives fearing they might ond day get lumbered with. I quickly recovered from the shock of this event FINALLY happening and learned why he was so disgruntled: the box weighed an absolute ton — in it, 100 paperbacks of my debut novel (which is 14.5cm x 20.5cm and a perfect-bound laminated paperback, just like you see in the shops). If you haven’t already, read the synopsis and see reviews here, where you can also buy the digital version.

The paperback cover has smaller title writing, as seen in the photo above with Jojo posing

And it’s about time this self-publishing venture of mine really kicked in. 3 months ago I made the very brave statement that “in 3 weeks my books should be available in paperback.” A total impossibility as it turned out; first there was the formatting to do, and then there were graphics to sort out. Aside from that, a human-being must also sleep…still, let’s not dwell on that point, it’s a time for being smug and it won’t come again for a while, that much is certain. Instead, let me tell you how you can get your hands on a copy and other important details. Then you can be smug, too. Don’t say I never give you anything.

INDEX

* Why you should buy this first-run, limited-edition book

* Can I have a signed copy?

* OK Chris, you’ve broken me. I live in the UK, how do I pay?

* Oh dear…but Chris, I am a luddite…does that mean I have to wait until either someone

leaves it on the train or it ends up in a library or a bin?

* But Chris, my problem is I don’t live in the UK. It’s the end of the world!

And just when I thought everything in my life was going right…

* …Is there a web-site for the book? I’m intrigued and would like to know more

* Links to more about the book

* Thanks

Why you should buy this first-run, limited-edition book

Because if you don’t you are making the biggest mistake of your life, of course. But aside from that, and the fact that if you don’t buy it your children won’t ever discover it in the book-shelf — which would mean them missing out on a vital part of English culture, which would be all your fault! — this first edition might one day be worth something. I know, I’m getting carried away here, but let’s say I make the big-time, or the semi-big-time, or just the semi-semi big-time, right? Or I get involved in a road-rage incident with the Pope or something and that gets me on This Morning. Well, in that case these might become valuable. Or at least sought after. It’s all very good and well not buying one now, but don’t come crying to me when you need to pay that last thirty grand on your mortgage in twenty years’ time!

Can I have a signed copy?

Yes! And that’s not me saying that out of vanity. Lots of people have already asked for this — without me even mentioning it — and although my right hand is now almost perpetually spasmed from all the signing, I’m sure I can make an exception for you.

OK Chris, you’ve broken me. I live in the UK, how do I pay?

Here’s how you do it: if you have a Paypal account then it couldn’t be simpler. Simply sign in and click the Send Money button as depicted below:

Once you’ve done that, you get this:

As you can see, now you are here. From this point on it’s very simple: enter the amount of £9.50 (£2.50 of that is for UK postage and packaging — the book on its own cosst £7.50) and the email address chrispink49@googlemail.com and hit Continue.

And I repeat, £9.50 includes postage and packaging, so you’re not going to get stung for anymore, I assure you.

On the next screen you’ll have the option of adding a message in the box provided. If you would like me to write something in the front of the book, no matter how ridiculous or formal — excluding death-threats or malicious notes like  “Here’s a book for you. YOUR DUMPED!” — write the exact words in this box and I will get it done. It is a promise.

AND I DO NEED YOUR ADDRESS! so if your Paypal account doesn’t automatically send this, be sure to include this in the message box as well.

Oh dear…but Chris, I am a luddite…does that mean I have to wait until either someone

leaves it on the train or it ends up in a library or a bin?

Sorry, yes.

Only messing! Of course not, as long as you never ever again suggest it might end up in the bin — that really wasn’t very nice. So yes, I also accept cheques too. Please email me if you would like my address, and I will tell you and only you it. You have to be careful, you know. That bloke Dom off of Cowboy Builders is always going on about it.

But Chris, my problem is I don’t live in the UK. It’s the end of the world!

And just when I thought everything in my life was going right…

Seriously…calm down. It’ll be OK. If you don’t live in the UK, you need to email me and tell me where you live. Then I can calculate the postage costs and we can go from there. There, isn’t that better? (And don’t panic, the postage costs are reasonable. Examples below.)

US: £5.40 / $8.40

Germany: £3.40 / Euro 3.90

France: £3.40 / Euro 3.90

It is. Just one last thing…

Isn’t there always…

…Is there a web-site for the book? I’m intrigued and would like to know more

Ah, in that case I forgive you. There IS a web-site for the book, actually — it’ll be taking all the money, which will be nice — but sadly, seeing as I lack any technical computer skills whatsoever, I am still trying my best to work out how to upload the damn bloody thing. As soon as it is up, I will post an update here.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Links to more about the book

All Number 3 related book things are on this blog here

Feature here on Fiction Fierce

See the synopsis here

Thanks

One last thing: thanks again to the many amazing people who helped make my first novel a reality. It wasn’t an easy journey, but people like Phil Thomas, Robin Bright, Jack McCourt and Yasmin Selena — whose brand-new blog about writing and short stories is up here and you really ought to read it — made it a hell of a lot easier than it might have been otherwise. I couldn’t have done it without any of these people, not to mention the many great friends who are showing support on Facebook and Twitter right now. You’re all most excellent.

Lastly, as you know, there are only 100 copies of this first edition in existence. I’m reserving copies for quite a few people, but they can’t be held forever, so the sooner they are paid for the sooner they can be despatched.

Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you soon,

If you have any other pressing questions, feel free to contact me at: chrispink49@googlemail.com

Chris

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