Tonight I’m going to see what all the fuss is about


The drama…the excitement…the forbidden passion and the endless teenage sexual tension — not to mention the vampires, did the vampires cross your mind yet by any chance? — no, I’m not talking about jumping in a time machine and going back to my first day at my local Youth Club (and I’m very glad about that. I’d never, ever want to be 15 and tormented by tits — both the hideous bullying variety who have fully-grown-man side-burns well before their time, and the splendid female kind — ever again). This is serious. Tonight will be the night that my life changes forever. And that’s exactly what I’m scared about.

For tonight will be the night I put aside every part of my brain saying a million variations of Chris, seriously, don’t do this, you will regret it and actually watch Twilight.

No, this is not a joke. Yes, this is a serious statement. I’ve heard all the bad words — “Stephanie Meyer can’t write! How on vampires-on-Earth did her book ever get made into a film?” — and all the good words — I don’t need to say much more than the words I love Robert Pattinson, do I? (And for the record, that wasn’t me just declaring my love for the man, that was supposed to be the exasperated voice of every teenage girl on the planet.)

See, I’ve decided that in order to move on with my life I need to get this out of the way. Once I have then I can get back to panning Twilight

…Unless I find I actually quite like it…

Watch this space. Or don’t.

Frankly I’m giving myself the creeps now.

5 comments on “Tonight I’m going to see what all the fuss is about

  1. Kate says:

    Oh, god. Do. Not. Just no. I lost a bet and now have to read&review Twilight, don’t kill your brain cells on Twilight.


  2. stace says:

    oh god why would you watch such drivel ,it hurts my punk rock soul knowing you were out there somewhere in the cambridgeshire countryside,watching pre pubecent,teen angsty non porn. you now need to come round and explain yourself over a cup of manly tea……..fact.


    • chrispink says:

      I’m so happy you have finally found a blog where you can tell the world about your love of Twilight Stace. That’s great news.
      I’ll be sending you the box-set, then.
      Long as it’s peppermint tea I am down with that man! FB message me your shifts for the next week or so if you can dude.


  3. Jihan says:

    Okay…im drinking peppermint tea now. (its not manly at all) sorry guys.

    Okay, now let the single horny American woman explain why the vampire flick is awesome. i can do it in two words.

    Jacob Black.

    Yes the story line sucks, the acting is worse and the writing, like the characters, has no pulse.

    BUT… the saving grace is Jacob Blacks rippling butt muscles and dark cocoa butter skin. I want to melt his ass over a croissant and eat him. Yes I’m old enough for it to be considered child molestation but i don’t care.

    I hate Edward though. My chihuahua is sexier than him. A f*cken sparkly vampire. what a disgrace to the underworld. Even Leslie Neislen was a scarier and more believable blood sucker.

    Okay…so basically its awesome because i’m a pervert.

    a proud and happy one.

    Chris….admit it. Werewolves are irresistible.



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